Relationships

Love on Layaway

Happy Hump Day y’all. I truly hope that the middle of this work week finds you all happily enjoying life. It was a beautiful day in my part of the world and I actually got the chance to enjoy a bit of it. While enjoying a leisurely, late lunch at one of my favorite restaurants (shout out to Front Street Cafe) the idea for this post came to me. As always, I’m speaking from a place of love because I want the best for all of you. I want your lives to be filled with positivity, love and light. Unfortunately this means that occasionally I have to point out a few truths that may make you uncomfortable. This is one of those times. After reading this some of you are going to be in your feelings. If you find yourself there you might want to take a good, honest look within and discover why.

How many of you are familiar with layaway? Years ago, when I was a child, several stores offered layaway plans. You were able to buy clothing, housewares or toys by paying for them over time instead of purchasing them outright. This was helpful if you didn’t have the money for the purchase or you didn’t want to pay in full at that time. Layaway plans all worked pretty much the same way. You had to make a down payment which was usually 10% of the total or sometimes as little as $5.00. You then had 6 – 8 weeks to pay the balance in full. You were responsible for making weekly or bi-weekly payments until the deadline. If your balance were not paid in full by that deadline you forfeited any payments made. The merchandise was then returned to the sales floor.

There’s an unfortunate trend in dating these days – the Love Layaway plan. That’s right, some of y’all, men and women, are out here laying away romantic interests. You meet a guy or girl that you are really digging. They have everything that you’re looking for in a potential mate. You’re not ready to lock them down though because you’re suffering from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). I mean, you have to be sure that something better doesn’t come along right? Or maybe you’re still in hoe mode and just aren’t ready to settle down yet. Instead of doing the right thing and letting them know that you aren’t ready, you string them along. You breadcrumb them. You show just enough interest to keep them from moving on. You may even tell them that when you’re ready to settle down you’re coming to get them. You just don’t tell them the truth about why you aren’t ready. You’re “paying” on your layaway regularly to make sure that your “merchandise” isn’t returned to the sales floor – the dating pool where they are sure to be taken off the market.

What is arguably worse than placing someone on a Love Layaway plan is allowing yourself to be placed on one. You communicate your worth and your value by how you allow yourself to be treated. What message are you sending sis when you allow yourself to be kept tucked away on the sidelines by a man who isn’t ready to make you a priority? My dude, what are you saying about your worth when you allow a woman to treat you as an option? I get it, you guys clicked. When you’re together you’re firing on all cylinders. You have the potential to be great together. Guess what? Potential means ain’t a damn thing happening now! Stop it! The deadline has passed and payment in full has not been made. It’s time to take yourself off Love Layaway, stop playing the waiting game and get out there and live your life. Act like you know your worth!

— Jae

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