Relationships

The Four Men You Date in Your 40’s: Mr. Desperate Dater

Time really flies when you’re having fun. We’re already at the end of our series on ‘The four men you date in your 40’s.’ We’re going to close out with a look at the Desperate Dater. Though not as common or trifling as the Fuckboy, the Desperate Dater is arguably more frustrating. On the surface, he’s everything you could want in a man. However, his approach leaves you seriously considering living the rest of your life as a single, asexual woman.

You’re out with friends enjoying drinks and live music at a popular venue in your city. You notice a gentleman across the room at the bar checking you out with a smile on his face. You give him the once over – he appears to be alone, he’s handsome, nicely dressed and he isn’t wearing cheap shoes. You return his smile and before you know it the waiter is approaching your table informing you that your next drink is courtesy of the gentleman across the room. You make your way over to thank him and he invites you to sit. Before you know it, it’s the last call and your girls are waiting for you near the door. You exchange numbers with Tony and head home.

Tony begins texting you on the way home. He asks if he can call you and you tell him it’s late. “I really enjoyed myself with you. I just want to hear your voice before I go to sleep,” he replies. You tell him no, you’re going to bed and you’ll talk to him later on. At 9:00 am exactly your phone rings. It’s Tony. You exchange pleasantries and chat for a few minutes when he asks if he can take you out. You don’t have any plans so you agree to meet him for a late lunch. He’s attentive, personable, open and down to earth. He dates with a purpose and definitely sees marriage in his future. He definitely has potential and you’re willing to see where this goes. As he walks you to your car, he asks if he can see you later that evening for drinks and dinner. You politely decline while looking at him with a raised eyebrow. As you drive away, you receive a text message notification. Yep, it’s Tony!

For the next three months, Tony calls four times a day and texts you all day long. He attempts to spend time with you daily stating that he just can’t stand being away from you. If you had balls he’d be swinging from them! Finally, you’ve had enough. You call and let him know that he’s coming on too strong and you don’t like being smothered. He apologizes and says, “If I’ve come on a little strong it’s just because I love you and I hate when we’re apart.” Wayment! WHET?! Love?! Did this ninja just say, LOVE?! Gently, you tell him that he can’t possibly be in love with you. He barely knows you. He insists that he knows enough – you’re beautiful, intelligent and a good person and that’s all he needs to know. Now you’re becoming a little concerned. You tell him that isn’t enough and he’s moving way too fast. Now he’s angry, “I know my heart! I know you’re the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with!” You begin speaking s l o w l y as you reiterate that he’s moving too fast. You tell him you think it’s best if you go your separate ways. He begs you to just give him a chance. You say no, wish him well and end the conversation. As you set your phone down you think to yourself, “Damn! If I had given him some ass I might have had to kill him!” Immediately he begins blowing up your phone forcing you to blacklist his number. He reaches out to you on social media so you block and delete. He creates new accounts and sends you friend requests. He begins sending flowers to your home and job. This dude has gone full-on stalker mode! Finally, you unblock his number long enough to tell him that you’re going to file a restraining order against him, let everyone know he’s stalking you, then send a few ‘friends’ to his house to beat his ass. Tony is crazy, but he ain’t stupid so he finally fades to black.

That brings us to the end of the series. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This isn’t the end of the good stuff though. Click the ‘Follow’ button on the homepage so you can be notified when new posts drop. As always, feel free to share!

Other posts in this series:

The four men you date in your 40’s

The four men you date in your 40’s: The 40+ year-old Fuckboy

The four men you date in your 40’s: Mr. Inconsistent

The four men you date in your 40’s: The Old Flame

— Jae

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