Hello and welcome to the third post in the ‘The four men you date in your 40’s’ blog series. Yesterday we took a look at the 40+year-old fuckboy and his shenanigans. If you missed that post and need to bring yourself up to speed just click here The four men you date in your 40’s: The 40+ year-old FuckBoy Today we’re discussing Mr. Inconsistent, the patron saint of half-assedness and wasted time. The inconsistent gentleman, while not as bad as the fuckboy, is similar in his propensity to waste the hell out of your time. Like Cash Money Records took over for the ’99 and the 2000’s, Mr. Inconsistent will take over, waste what seems like a decade of your time and not leave you so much as a decent hook or a beat to nod your head to.
It isn’t easy to identify an inconsistent dude because you don’t meet him right away. That fine, funny, considerate man you meet initially is his representative. Let’s call him – wait, what should we call him? I have to tread carefully here. If I use the name of a man I’ve actually dated you already know what’s going to happen. I’ll be inundated with butt-hurt text messages or DMs from said person enumerating all the reasons why he wasn’t inconsistent. Sooooo let’s call the representative Cameron. Now you meet Cameron and he’s fine, he’s funny, he communicates his interest in you in a non-threatening, non-sexual, decidedly not creepy way. In fact, he’s so respectful you’re taken aback. He has to be too good to be true! Trust me, he is. You exchange numbers and it begins.
In the beginning, Mr. Inconsistent will call and text often. Enough to keep a smile on your face but not enough to creep you out or smother you. He makes it a point to see you on a regular basis even going so far as to set up a standing weekly date. The weeks pass. You’re enjoying the budding relationship, you’re enjoying your time together and you begin to look at him with an eye toward the future. It’s obvious Cameron is feeling the same way because he begins talking about plans for his future with you in mind. “Baby, how do you feel about living abroad? That’s always been a dream of mine but I can’t leave my boo behind.” Now you’re grinning like a deacon at a Pentecostal tent revival meeting and eyeing an issue of Modern Bride magazine as you wait in line at the supermarket. STOP! Step away from the magazine and pay for your groceries because here comes Cam.
It seems to be business as usual but something feels a bit off. Cameron isn’t as communicative as he used to be. He’s not texting and calling with the same frequency. In fact, he’s not returning calls and text messages for days at a time. You mention it to him and he apologizes. Says he’s preoccupied with a work or family related issue. You’re all too willing to accept that explanation and you let it go. Besides, you guys are still spending time together weekly. What you don’t know is his representative, Cameron, is on vacation and you’re finally meeting the real him – Cam. Then it happens. The first of many date cancellations. The time between calls and text messages lengthens. When you text him it sometimes takes him more than 12 hours to respond. While you’re conversing on the telephone he tells you he’ll call you back but he doesn’t. What in the entire fuck is going on?! Now you’re fed up and you let his ass have it! He’s contrite, apologetic and promises he’ll do better. He does. Cameron actually shows up for a few weeks and you couldn’t be happier. Slowly but surely Cameron disappears in much the same way Cash Money songs disappeared from the Billboard charts. Cam is back. He’s stating emphatically that he loves and cares about you but his actions are communicating something entirely different. Eventually, you reach your limit and quietly remove yourself from his life holding out hope that Cameron will return and come find you. It is only after it takes Cam four days to realize he hasn’t heard from you that you accept that this relationship is a lost cause.
I hope you enjoyed reading about Mr. Inconsistent. The series continues tomorrow with a discussion of The Old Flame. Hit the follow button so you’ll receive a notification when the next post comes out. As always, feel free to share.
Other posts in this series: