Relationships

The Four Men You Date in Your 40’s.

Dating in the twenty-first century feels like punishment from God, Buddha, Krishna, Jehovah, Allah, The Creator or Universe – pick your deity of choice. It has become such a painful experience that I can think of 5,762 things I would rather do than navigate the dating scene. At the top of that list is cleaning my bathroom followed closely by an elective root canal procedure. Dating was less complicated but it wasn’t easy in my 20s. Dating in my 40s feels like riding a unicycle on a tightrope while balancing 10 cups of organic green tea on my head, juggling cell phones in my left hand and attempting to catch a man with a lasso made of anal beads with my right. Hey! Don’t fucking judge me! Life is too short to pretend you don’t like freaky shit.

Years ago you met prospective romantic partners IN PERSON. Isn’t that a novel idea? You saw them while you were out living your life, hanging with friends, at networking events, at the gym, buying groceries, going to parties/clubs, etc. You may have even met them during Sunday service at your local church. Sidebar: I’m not sure how often that happened in the black community. When I think back, the brothers that were kicking the doors to the church open every Sunday at my house of worship all seemed to be cut from the same cloth as the Minister of Music. Y’all know what I mean. Anyway, I digress. Now, back to dating in 2017. We used to meet people in person but now, with the advent of social media, more and more people are meeting potential mates online. In my opinion, that has made dating harder not easier! You can meet people on Instagram, SnapChat, Facebook, and Twitter. Then you have dating apps and websites such as Plenty of Fish, Tinder, The League, Match.com, EHarmony, Seeking Arrangements and BlackPeopleMeet. You’re having to navigate profiles with names like JehovahThikness and 6’5_10inch_STUNNA. You need a BS in Forensics to help you analyze profile pictures of fuck boys with their shirts off and THOTs in bathrooms with their bodies contorted to make sure you see that ass. You want to make sure you aren’t being catfished. Dis tew much!!

If you’re hoping to find someone to establish a committed relationship with the difficulty increases astronomically! For every one person looking for a relationship of substance, there are nine people looking for a hook-up, a friend with benefits or a situationship. “Huh,” you say. “What the fuck is that?!” you ask. Exactly!! I promise you I will answer all your burning questions over the next few days. Up next, I’ll be discussing the Forty-year-old Fuck Boy.

— Jae

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