Relationships

The Wisdom of Mother Teresa

The infamous fuck boy, leaving a trail of dashed dreams and broken hearts in his wake. How, you ask, do women keep falling for the fuckery? The answer to that is simple, like most living things, fuck boys evolve. Now ladies (and gents if that’s how you swing) must also be on guard against the Toxic Fuck Boy. Toxic fuck boys have elevated the game to new levels. Sit back, relax and let me explain.

A short time ago I met one such toxic fuck boy. He was educated, well-spoken, moderately attractive and employed. He identified as polyamorous (Look it up – Google is your friend) and was in a committed relationship with two young ladies. The reality of the situation is he was practicing polyfuckery – pretending to be polyamorous so he could fuck out of both pants legs with no consequences or repercussions. Yes, yes, yes I hear you. How could any minimally intelligent woman fall for this? This is what elevates that gentleman to toxic fuck boy status. He purposely preys on women with self-esteem issues who are happy to have him and, as a result, willing to suffer silently as he destroys what is left of their dignity.

Before we go any further, I know what you’re thinking. Mr. Polyfuckery is surely an extreme. I’m willing to concede that. However, not all toxic fuck boys operate at extreme levels. There are those whose toxicity is much more low-key. Instead of killing you outright like a dose of cyanide, their toxicity is subtle and cumulative. It kills you slowly like arsenic.

Let’s say you meet a gentleman. He’s gorgeous, well-groomed, well-dressed, well-spoken. He finds you attractive as well. You exchange numbers and begin conversing regularly. You two really click! You have so much in common, you get along very well and BONUS you are both looking for committed relationships. What he doesn’t tell you is he isn’t planning on being in a committed relationship with you. You’re going to be his placeholder, someone to enjoy until ‘the one’ comes along. How could you not see this? You don’t see it because he breadcrumbs you. He drops just enough morsels to keep your interest, keep leading you in his direction. He calls and texts often. He calls you beautiful, expresses his admiration and appreciation. He takes you out, shares intimate details of his life or tells you about his struggles. Hell, he may even be blowing your back out. What you don’t realize is, once ‘the one’ shows up in his life he’s going to fade out of yours often with no explanation. Or, he might friend zone you and continue to keep in contact explaining his actions by saying he felt you deserved better than him.

The aforementioned toxic fuck boy is worse than the others. The others don’t feed you pipe dreams. They are very upfront about not wanting to be in a relationship but fully intending to be in your panties daily. They don’t take you out, they don’t introduce you to their friends and they communicate with you solely via text. Always late at night. Always wanting to know “wyd?” Because they’re always thinking about you at 2 am.

So, my loves, now you know and in the words of G.I. Joe “Knowing is half the battle.” Arm yourselves with the knowledge, guard against all fuck boys but especially the toxic ones. Go forth, be fabulous and SLAY.

— Jae

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